Remembering Haiti

Last June, I had the incredible opportunity to go to Haiti with my youth group to go love and serve the people in a little community called Piatr'e. It has been 6 months since that trip, and I feel like I have hardly shared what all happened on that trip with most of you for one reason or another. It has honestly taken a good bit to process, a lot happened in the span of 6 short days but a lot also happened in me as well. I grew so much that trip it is indescribable, and it became the launching pad for a season of learning of growing for many of the months to come. But also I came home and went through pretty hard and rough reverse culture shock, which I have not really experienced before. To the point where I would begin to get so overwhelmed with how undeservedly blessed I am while I had just left so many people in a small rural community who just wanted a school and medical clinic for their kids to ensure the best future for their kids. (This is another blog post for another day). So needless to say it is not for lack of wanting to share, it just so happens that while I am walking down the path of trying to figure out what the Lord is doing through the brokenness, I jumped into the busiest season I have ever had in my life. But today I finally will share what all happened this incredible week. It took me two weeks to write this because so much went on and it has taken a lot to still process everything even now. So with that, let's begin. 

Christmas day was six months since I finally got to step on the plane that would carry me across the Caribbean to a small little island called Haiti. I couldn't have ever imagined how a week long trip could change my life in so many ways. For about 6 years I had been waiting for a chance to go to Haiti. Ever since the earthquake hit, I knew I wanted to go. I wasn't sure how or when I could even go and wasn't sure I would even go for six years. Finally, in November of 2015, my youth group announced that they were taking a high school mission trip to you guessed it! Haiti. After praying and asking that if this was God's will that He would open doors, I applied to go.  We started our meetings, training, and fundraising, which many of you helped encourage and support me get there. Then it was like I blinked and all the sudden it was June 25th. To be honest, that day was really hard. Most of you know my heart is in Africa, so God leading me in the complete opposite direction took a lot of faith and courage knowing He had the best plan for me. Not only did He, but He surrounded me with people who loved and encouraged me so well through emails, texts, notes, and conversations. The weeks leading up to the trip, God really pressed Esther 4:14 on my heart and I clung to the promises through the rocky moments. It would be in God's story that just before I got on the bus that would take my team and me to the airport, a sweet lady in my life who I adore wrapped her arms around me and kept repeating Esther 4:14 over and over again to me, without knowing what all that verse meant to me the past few weeks. I am so thankful for the group of people who loved, supported, and encouraged me throughout the process of fundraising and while I was in the country.  

A few hours later, I was sitting on a plane headed to the place I had dreamed of going for 6 years, and now it was finally here. We landed around 10 pm that night in the capital city of Port Au Prince, where we were picked up by our team leaders and headed to the guest house. As we headed out early the next morning to go to the community we would work in, I fell more in love with the personality of the country, the people, and the culture. It took around two and half hours to get from Port-Au-Prince to Pierre Payen where our hotel was. We dropped off our stuff and then jumped in the vans again to make the 40 minute drive up into the mountains to Piatr'e. The drives up and down the mountain every day quickly became my favorite. The view was absolutely break taking, and all you could do was sit in awe of the view.


 
[The view from Piatr'e looking down towards Pierre Payen]


 

June 26th was a Sunday, so we got to experience our first Haitian church service. Which is loud, crowded and loooonnnngggg. We were there for around 2 hours and it had already been going on for at least three hours. Our team got to sing for the church, then afterward we headed back down the mountain to our hotel.  We had dinner then had our debrief time as a group where my youth pastor picked 3 people to share their testimonies. Of course, this quiet and introverted girl was trying not to make eye contact with my pastor as he then called out "Abby! why do you share tonight?" (Writing note: I thought it was pretty funny writing this because just this summer I would have freaked out of someone asked to share my story, but now its so easy. It is crazy to see how I have been able to grow and step out of my comfort zone through interning and leading.) So I did, and it was really quite amazing for me to recall the story of how God had totally turned my life upside down in a little less than a year. That night, something happened, I fell in love with my story. Getting to watch God write my story so redemptively and it hadn't even been a full year since I had surrendered everything to Him. 

Every day I began to focus on saying little yeses to wherever He lead me, whether it be sharing my story, praying for people we visited or loving on kiddos, I made sure that I was saying yes. There was a quote by Katie Davis that I had in my mind the whole week and it was this; "I have been learning this lesson for years and I learn it anew in these pages: Our God, He can make baskets of bread out of tiny loaves we hand Him. He can make a life of glory out of our weak-kneed timid yes to Him."  Thankful for my leaders and friends who encouraged e every step of the way throughout the week, I would not be where I am today if it weren't for them.

The next few days we would head up to Piatr'e in the morning, to teach English and hang out with the kids then we would split up into groups and do house visits where we would pray for people and families in the community. Teaching English quickly became my favorite parts, I loved getting to see how eager they wanted to learn to read and write. To the point where kids would bring me the dry erase boards we had brought and ask me to help teach them the alphabet. They do not have a running school currently so their only schooling comes from what teams who visit teach them. That was usually how I spent my mornings, teaching English to one while holding another little one in my arms. Along with teaching English, I also loved getting to do skits about Bible stories. Getting to see their curiosity of how Jesus really healed the man born blind and how much they were amazed by His power and love. From these sweet littles, I learned so much from when Jesus talks about childlike faith. No strings attached, just full devotion and love for the One who is great, and mighty.  In the afternoons we would split into groups of about 5 to 6 and with a translator/guide we would go and visit people who lived in the area. We would get to learn more about them and their families, share the gospel with them and pray for their needs. It was a really neat to be able to go build relationships with these people and hear their stories.Our guides would be so excited to lead us and for us to meet the people of Piatr'e, they would lead us through neighborhoods, across creeks, and through laundry lines so that we could meet as many people as we could. 

Teaching the alphabet to Lovensky (left)



Of course, there was one little girl who had me wrapped around her little finger. That was Dashka. She is 5 years old little fireball who loved piggy back rides, listening to bible stories, and singing 'Good Good Father" and "How He loves." She stole my heart with her laugh and that smile of hers. Every morning she would come running down the hill and jump into my arms. We spent a good bit of time together, learning English and the alphabet and having tickle fights; I only wish you could hear her squeals. But my favorite memory of her was on the very last day. We were all singing the songs we had been teaching them that week, I was sitting on the floor with one little girl in my lap, another one next to me, Dashka sitting on the other side of me, and another kid holding my hand. We had been teaching them "Good Good Father'' and "How He loves" all week, and sung it one more time before we left. It made my heart almost explode to look down and see Dashka gazing up at me while quietly singing along to herself how much her Father loves her. It was like a little glimpse of what heaven will be like one day. Some gathered to sing of His love, redemption, and grace. Some singing in English, some in Creole but all singing to the same God who loved and rescued them. It was a moment I will never forget, you could feel His presence come into space just as if He was sitting next to you. Though the people in Piatr'e have had their hardships and struggles, but that doesn't stop them from living every moment of their lives for the glory of the King. 







                                        
  Every day I would wake up around 5 in the morning (Which is saying a lot for someone who isn't a morning person) get ready for the day, then head to the back patio which overlooked the beach to have a quiet time. It was in these moments when God would speak to me in the quiet peacefulness of the early morning. He taught me a lot in the time with Him over the week, things like my story is powerful and needs to be shared and He has chosen me specifically for this moment. But one thing seemed to stick out from the rest and that was "Never let your quietness keep you from sharing what God is doing." Being a more reserved and introverted person, I can easily miss the opportunity to share what God is teaching and showing me. On this trip though God began to give me the confidence to speak out, through sharing my story and being asked to lead the group devotion one morning. I am so thankful for my leaders on this trip that one believed in me and that continuously encouraged me to keep speaking out and sharing. If it weren't for them, I am not sure where I would be today.  

On Wednesday, we headed up to Piatr'e just like usual. We spent the morning teaching English and playing with the kids just like we had for three days, then we snuck away to eat lunch. We were happily eating our lunch and talking about what had happened that morning the when our team leader came to us with a concerned look on his face. He had been watching the clouds that were starting to come over the mountains, "rain is coming" he said, "we need to get down the mountain now." With how steep the mountain roads are that are just dirt and rocks, lots of rain could lead to mudslides which are not ideal when the only way to travel down the mountain is by vans. We of course understood the urgency, but we were heartbroken, to say the least. This was the third day in Piatr'e and we knew that tomorrow we would only have a couple hours with them before we would have to head back to Port-Au-Prince. We headed back down the mountain, all processing it differently. Some talked, some cried, or others like me just sat in silence all the to the hotel. It seemed like we had just gotten here and it was already time to say goodbye. The whole way down I was trying to soak everything in; the incredible breathtaking view, the smells, the feel of the wind blowing through my hair as I stuck my head out the window, every little detail. We got to the hotel and gathered as a group to talk about the plan for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and I am pretty sure all the girls ended up making each other cry while doing so. (There being 16 girls on the trip, there was a good bit of emotion 😁) Our youth pastor explained the plan for the rest of the day, which included playing "Signs" then we could rest and hang out for a little bit before we would head down to the beach to have a worship service. In my mind, there isn't anything quite more relaxing than curling up with one of my favorite books of all time (Radical by David Platt) while overlooking the beach in one of my favorite places. Just before sunset, we all headed down the staircase to the beach where we had a worship service. We all needed a little bit of encouragement and fulfillment to finish the week strong. So we sat, all 18 of us in a long row watching the sun slowly begin to slip behind the clouds while storms began to roll in, and we just started to sing our hearts out. We sang of His great, indescribable, unfailing love, that for the whole week had been our prayers for the people of Piatr'e that they would be able to see how amazing His love for them is, became the desires of our hearts there on that beach. It was there in the sand we made our altars, where we traded our weakness for His strength, we surrendered our will's for His great plan. This evening was one of my favorites, I have never felt God feel so near as He did sitting on the beach that day. We were reminded that He is always there, always near to those who want to meet with Him, to those who draw near. He is ready to meet with us and trade our weakness for His strength, gladly He meets with those who desire Him more than anything else. 
Our youth pastor shared with us a little devotion/talk on loving our neighbors, because yes going to a different country to go show the love of Christ is great, but how are we sharing the love of our savior in our ordinary lives? How are we stepping out to serve others, to pray for the hurting, to slow down and taking the time to love individually? As a response, he had us all get rock from the beach and think about one to two people who did not know Jesus, and then we would commit to do anything in our power to show them Christ. He told us to write their name on the rock then throw it into the ocean. He continued to share that the shore that is covered in rocks we can think of as Heaven, and the ocean can be looked at as our lives. But that no matter how long it takes, every rock reaches the shore, it could take a few weeks, years, but God knows the plan for their lives. So we all wrote names of those we know and love who have not experienced Jesus yet, and in surrender threw them into the water. No one knew this, but for a few months now I had been praying for my brother who was going through a rough season, and I knew that He had not given His life to Christ yet so that's what I had been praying for. But when I was about to write the same brother's name on my rock, a little voice within said: "Don't write his name down." That was all He said. Which didn't make any sense to me because I knew he needed Jesus, but a peace came over me that I can't explain that said again "Don't write his name down." So I chose two others that were on my heart and threw my rock into the ocean in signifying my surrender to His great plan.



The next morning I woke up dreading what was to come. It was a quiet morning just because we all knew what was coming was going to be really really hard. After quite a whirlwind of a week, I didn't want this trip to be over. I had grown so much and had fallen in love with this place my heart had longed to go for over 6 years now, and with everything in me I wished this didn't have to end. I didn't want to go home to a life that was full of comfort and living the American dream, where I could make excuses for being quiet instead of speaking out. So I made a decision that this would not be the end of the story, I wasn't sure what the future would hold for me once I was back home but I knew that I was going to keep focusing on saying those little yeses God led me to. So for the last time, we loaded up in the vans and headed up the mountain. It was an unusually quiet ride up, we were all trying to take in every detail of everything going on; the view, how the kids would chase after the vans and jump in the back of the trucks, the sounds of kids singing in the schools we would pass by, the random goat that would be wondering on the side of a mountain, and the feeling your stomach made when you looked all the way down to the bottom of the ravine and realize that is a really really long way down there. We arrived at the school building we had served as our meeting place and we all began to desperately search for the kids we had grown close to over the week. I held my girls close that morning as we played and sung all the songs we had taught them, gave piggy back rides, played slaps, and took pictures. We then made the 30 minute walk farther up the mountain with the leadership committee where they had the land set aside for where they will build their very own medical clinic one day. We walked into this field and prayed for the future of this community and for the leadership committee as they continue to lead this community. I admire their dreams for the future, and their determination to make their world better than how they found it. They never let the labels define them, these brothers and sisters were confident that He is with them and will provide for their every need. We came back to the school house where all the kids had gathered and were waiting for us. We played for a little bit, then we all gathered with the kids and leadership committee, where we all sung one last time Good Good Father and How He Loves. Then our team all went around and shared our name again and thanked the committee for letting us come and serve them. Then the committee went around and shared their names and then told us how thankful they were that we came, which was really cool I think for our whole team to see how much they appreciated us coming. After a few more pictures, our team leader said the phrase each of us dreaded, "It is time to say your goodbyes." We all cried as we all gave one last hug to those who had made such an impact on our lives. But what crushed my heart even more is that the kids all started crying, even some of the boys. For the last time, we pulled away from the school house as a whole crowd of people waved us goodbye and we started the long trek down. It was then I decided that no matter what, I was going to come back next year.





We quickly grabbed our things at our hotel and loaded up again to head to Port Au Prince for the night. It took about 3 hours, and traffic was pretty bad because of an accident. I have experienced a lot of questionable driving throughout my travels to Uganda and Ethiopia but I have never been quite so scared as I was riding in the back seat in Haiti. I crashed on the way down, after sleeping for an average 6 hours at the most every night I was exhausted to say the least. We made it to the guest house and had fried tilapia and chocolate pudding for dinner. There was wifi where we were staying, and for one of the first times all week my mom and I began to text back and forth. I sat out on the front patio with everyone else as I sent her pictures of Dashka and of the view from Piatr'e. The introvert in me was starting to come out with being with all the people all the time, so I snuck away to the quiet dark bathroom where I could be by myself for a little bit. I talked with my mom some more and after awhile she said, "Your brother has some news for you when you get home." She was talking about the same brother I had been praying for, for many weeks now, and the same brother God whispered to me to not write his name down on my rock at the beach the day before. When she said that in my heart I already knew, I already had tears streaming down my face as I replied, "What is it?" Her answer,

"He said yes to Jesus on Sunday."

I lost it. I sat in there for quite awhile in tears, in awe, so thankful that He answered such a dear prayer of mine, and a wave of relief came over me. I was so tired and exhausted that once I started crying I couldn't get myself together. So I just cried, and cried, and cried. Once I had gotten myself somewhat together, I needed someone to celebrate with so I went out to look for my youth pastor who has loved my family so well over the past year and a half.  I showed him what my mom had sent me, and he looked at me and said: "You have been praying for this haven't you?" I nodded, and he went on to say, "I'm not saying that this could not have when you were in the US, but in psalm 37:4 it says 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart'. I really think that you saying yes to come to Haiti, He gave you the desire of your heart, your brother's salvation." I sat there in tears and in awe that God would let me a part of a story like this. After all it took to even get on the plane, He had such an amazing plan for this trip that was so incredible, far more than I could have ever dreamed. Psalm 37:4 pretty quickly became the theme verse of the trip, and means so much to me now.

After about 4-5 hours of sleep, my alarm went off at 4 the next morning so that we could head to the airport at 5. What I was really dreading that morning was not leaving, I knew I was coming back, but saying goodbye to our two team leaders that were with the organization we had partnered with. We had been total strangers to each other at the beginning of the week, but we had grown so close over the past 6 days. They loved and lead our team and I so well, they set aside time to listen to my story and what was on my heart, and we had many conversations about all of our travels. They had been to Ethiopia and Uganda too, so we had a lot in common. I learned so much from them, and it was heartbreaking having to say goodbye that morning. But even as I hugged them goodbye with tears in my eyes, she whispered to me telling me that she would continue to be praying for me. I am so thankful God saw fit for them to be apart of my life. These two had such a big impact on my life and because of it, I will never be the same.

 



We took off a few hours later, a completely different group of high school students from how we had first arrived, ready to take on anything He would lead us to. Just like I promised myself, Haiti didn't become just a memory, it became a springboard to a whole new lifestyle. I came home and started a school year internship in my youth ministry which has pushed me way out of my comfort zone and I have continued to grow and have gained more confidence in myself. It has been an incredible life changing six months to say the least. And God willing, six months from today I will be in Haiti once again. I am beyond excited for God is taking me and I am so thankful for each of you for joining me on this journey! 


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