One More Chance
March 31st, 2015 will forever be a day I will hold close to my heart. Because three years ago I could have so easily walked away from everything and honestly, I really wanted to. But God. He had different plans for my story. In His grace, He whispered,
The Church is far from perfect. My church is far from perfect. It is not a superhero and it never was intended to be. The Rescuer is Jesus and only Jesus. But when the people inside the walls are so committed to partnering with God to bring redemption to those who desperately need it outside, beautiful things happen. When the people inside love those outside so much to the point it leaves them confused and overwhelmed to how a bunch of strangers could love you so much, that's when Jesus shows up. When the Church shows up by being present in the lives of those who are on the verge of walking away, people find Jesus, lives get restored and beauty in brought out of ashes. When the Church partners with the Rescuer beautiful redemptive things begin to happen.
And my life is a reflection of that.
My life will forever be changed by the way the Church partnered with Jesus to love the girl who was ready to walk away from everything.
" Church and Christians can so strangely keep us from Jesus, but if you find a faith community that feels like the Gospels and prioritizes our neighbors and sticks together even though their leaders are just medium and stuff goes sideways, hang on for dear life. That messy, kind of lame, rag-tag bunch of folks might just save your life too." ~ Jen Hatmaker
“Just one more chance. Just give Me one more chance. That is all you have to give me.”
That is what He whispered as I walked into Church again; in complete desperation and partly just to prove once and for all that God was distant and that it didn't matter what church I went to, I would never feel welcome or at home. But I walked in with the smallest sliver of hope, that maybe, just maybe God is who I heard He was. Maybe He could heal my hurt and my brokenness, and fill this terribly empty void in my soul.
One thing led to another and after a failed attempt to plead my way out of not going, there I stood on the curb of the church parking lot about to walk into my first student ministry event at a new church. My mom had told me that I only had to go once, and if I hated it I never had to go back again. To be honest, I really hoped I would hate it just so I would never have to go to church. But the reality was, I had never loved church or had really been apart of a church that I felt at home at. I didn’t even know what it felt like to be at home and to feel comfortable at church. I really thought that at all churches I would feel like the outcast. I remember so clearly walking up to the building that night and whispering under my breath, “Okay God. This is your last chance. So if You are going to do anything, You are going to have to it tonight. Because after this I am walking away.”
Standing at the crossroads, I gave God one more chance. And I opened the door and walked into the church building.
Little did I know how God would take that chance, that small little ounce of faith, and how He would exceed every dream or hope I could have possibly had by bringing beauty out of ashes. I had no idea the family I was walking into, who would love me in the most overwhelming ways. Who embraced me even though I was stand-off-ish to the whole idea of Church and slowly helped me take steps toward Jesus and into Church again. They didn't do anything crazy, they invited me to all girl outings to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Or they sat down with my sister and I and just listened to our stories and made it so clear that they were here for us.
When I walked into the building, I had no idea that God would indeed meet me here and that after many months of discovering who He truly was, I would finally surrender everything to Him. Because it would only be in His story that He redemptively wrote that He would use the Church, the thing that had been the cause of many wounds, a lot of insecurities, and an even greater amount of doubt to arise. It would only be in His story that at 14 years old I was ready to walk away from it all, to now, I am 17 and have had a relationship with Jesus for the past 2 1/2 years and confident in His calling He has placed on my life to go into full-time ministry.
When I walked into the building, I had no idea that God would indeed meet me here and that after many months of discovering who He truly was, I would finally surrender everything to Him. Because it would only be in His story that He redemptively wrote that He would use the Church, the thing that had been the cause of many wounds, a lot of insecurities, and an even greater amount of doubt to arise. It would only be in His story that at 14 years old I was ready to walk away from it all, to now, I am 17 and have had a relationship with Jesus for the past 2 1/2 years and confident in His calling He has placed on my life to go into full-time ministry.
The Church is far from perfect. My church is far from perfect. It is not a superhero and it never was intended to be. The Rescuer is Jesus and only Jesus. But when the people inside the walls are so committed to partnering with God to bring redemption to those who desperately need it outside, beautiful things happen. When the people inside love those outside so much to the point it leaves them confused and overwhelmed to how a bunch of strangers could love you so much, that's when Jesus shows up. When the Church shows up by being present in the lives of those who are on the verge of walking away, people find Jesus, lives get restored and beauty in brought out of ashes. When the Church partners with the Rescuer beautiful redemptive things begin to happen.
And my life is a reflection of that.
My life will forever be changed by the way the Church partnered with Jesus to love the girl who was ready to walk away from everything.
" Church and Christians can so strangely keep us from Jesus, but if you find a faith community that feels like the Gospels and prioritizes our neighbors and sticks together even though their leaders are just medium and stuff goes sideways, hang on for dear life. That messy, kind of lame, rag-tag bunch of folks might just save your life too." ~ Jen Hatmaker
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